that time in the truck

I can hardly keep my eyes open, but it’s pointless to close them because each time I do I get a phone call or an email or a text. Buying a house wasn’t this hard in the past. So many hoops to jump through. And when they say we’re done, they turn around and want more. So there’s no point in closing my eyes. Unless I want my phone to ring, of course.

It’s like if you want it to rain, then go wash your car. It’s like that.

.

I should be packing, but I’m so fucking tired. This is all happening so fast. Too fast. Watch me wait until the night before to pack. The best and worst part of moving is the most time-consuming part, the getting rid if useless junk accrued since the last move part. It sucks to do it, but the result sure feels good. Like exercise. I hate it. And lately none of it has been happening. So I’m accruing. And I almost don’t care. I’m just too tired to care.

But life ain’t all bad. I mean, getting this house is pretty great. And I don’t have to wake up early in the morning most days. And writing is going well. Eh, that’s all in how you look at it. Well as in it’s happening. The stories are happening. Anything else requires that I look inside myself. No, no it doesn’t. I wrote a post about coffee cups once for goodness sakes, and I wrote it only because my fingers were itching and I was surrounded by coffee cups.

I’ve sort of scraped the barrel of my deep side. Ain’t nothin left in there. No mystery to pull out of the murky water of my soul. Though I did have a thought today as I sat in my truck in the driveway after pulling up. I was listening to an old song. I was listening to a song that took me back about a year and a half. Things were rough back then too, but there were moments that were pretty great. Those are the ones I look back on and miss. So I thought, as I sat in my truck in the driveway listening to that song, that those

<interrupted by email>

…that those memories are of such small moments. Those tiny moments grow into big ones as time goes on. I didn’t know at the time that this song would define an entire slice of life. At the time it was no more than a nice moment, a pretty intense one now that I think about it. A lot of passionate writing in a couple day’s time, now that I really think about it.

…….

Now that I’ve sufficiently changed the initial course of this post (I often end up someplace new, unintentionally, or used to) I’m going to close my eyes and wait for the phone to ring. I’m expecting it to at any moment. (Which means it won’t.)

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